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Charleston, SC

HUMOR

YOU MIGHT BE A JUDO PLAYER IF...

1. You think sweating builds character.
2. You don't mind having more bruises than medals.
3. You think nothing worth while comes easily....and you're ok with that.
4. You think teamwork means actually helping each other.
5. You think mixing it up is a way to have a good time.
6. You miss wrestling season.
7. You can get slammed on your back.....and laugh.
8. You think safety is as important as learning to apply pain.
9. You think learning to fall helps you learn to throw people.
10. You have more potential than you realize.
11. You want to wrestle competitively......but you're a girl.
12. You think traveling to tournaments is a vacation .
13. You want to interrupt your summer for the Hoosier State Games.....and win.
14. You can get thrown by a smaller player......and you don't mind.
15. You think your family includes people that you're not even related to.
16. You think the slogan "No pain, no gain" hasn't been overused yet.
17. You spend more time planning for a healthy diet then you do for a date.....
18. ......because your date is practicing too.
19. You actually need calories!!
20. You take your child to practice because you're in the same class.
21. You can pivot on one bent leg while sweeping with the other...but you can't dance.
22. Your wedding day is the same day as the Nationals.....so you re late to one event.
23. You remember your wedding anniversary as the day after the big tournament .
24. Your honeymoon was a trip to the Midwest Open in Joliet, Ill.
25. You think your spouse understands. (yeah, right!!)
(#1 - #25 by Charles J Malooley)
26. You think "mutual welfare and benefit" means taking turns strangling each other to the point of unconsciousnes.
27. During intimate relations with the opposite sex, you find yourself thinking, "Wow, he/she's wide open for an armbar."
28. You just don't feel right unless your body feels like a six-ounce steak after a hard session with the tenderizer.
29. Your list of desirable qualities in the opposite sex includes: "attractively placed gi burns on the face and neck," "never submits until arm is ready to break," and "wicked drop seoi-nage."
30. People refuse to hug you, shake your hand, etc., because you never let go until they tap out or someone yells "Maitta!"
(#26 - #30 by Sean Hartigan)
31. You wash your Gi once a month whether it needs it or not.
32. You practice Ogoshi by throwing Grandma and Grandpa on the bed.
33. You get into bed with a forward roll.
34. You choose your dates by how well they look in a Gi.
35. When you buy christmas for the family it means everyone in the Dojo.
36. You spend more time on top of your friends than your girlfriend.
37. Friends and family won't even pass you food at the table because the last time they extended an arm to you ........
38. You say " you should see this new technique I learned" and all of a sudden you're the only one in the room.
39. You keep having this dream about your mother-in-law reversing your best choke.
40. Your dog shakes hands with everyone but you.
(#31 - #40 by Bob Brogdon)